Who is Bear, Part 2

Last time, I covered Bear's first appearance on UK Television.

Bear was very proud of his first break in the industry. This came at a price though, and soon he found that the work dried up and he was left somewhat in the wilderness.
Just two weeks after hitting the small screen, he was invited to play Aladdin at the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton.

"A six-week stretch," he told me.

He immediately found that, although being on television gave him a buzz, there was nothing like the thrill of treading the boards. Even though it was only pantomime. He told me that he met many famous people whilst on duty. It was the time of the rise of the reality TV celebrity, but a little research did show that some people I’d even heard of appeared in the show.

“The audience was fantastic. They would cheer and clap every time I came on.” Bear beamed as he told me this.

But unfortunately, this lead to a bit of a problem. Bears are Bears after all, and not human. Especially the slightly tubby ones with little legs.

“Mommy and Daddy Bear always told me it was something to do with how I was made. Anyway, the problem is that when Bears stand around under really bright lights for more than twenty minutes, they.. well, let’s just say that they let out a little trickle of wee.” He genuinely struggled to hold back the tears as he recalled this.

Normally, Bears live in woods, with very few people watching. More specifically, not a theatre full of about three hundred screaming children - baying for the blood of Jafar, desperately wanting an increasingly bungling Aladdin (for comic effect of course) to succeed.

“In the woods, when the sun comes back out, it dries you up. But, in the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton, I did not have this luxury. At first the children though it was hilarious. Laugh out loud funny. Or, L.O.L, if you prefer. I know that David Cameroon thought that means lots of love, but I know!”

By now, Bear had lost concentration, and was starting to follow a fly instead. It was only when it landed on his head, and he attempted a hard swat, that he seemed to snap himself out of it. Once he had stopped crying.

The children generally found the patches of urine funny, very funny indeed. After all, who wouldn’t? After a short while though, there was quite a puddle deposited on stage, and those at the front were starting to complain that Aladdin was starting to “smell of wee,” and that they wanted to go home.

“Every time I came back on stage, the audience would start to boo. It was really hard to take.”

Two days later, Arthur Moron (he isn’t, or at least I don’t think he is - Bear didn’t give any indication either way) came to deliver the fateful news. That it was not really working out, and that Bear was relieved (no pun intended) of his duties. Ticket sales had plummeted after word had got round.

“I was gutted. Mommy and Daddy Bear stopped being proud of me, although they did say that they understood.”

Arthur had contacts in TV, particularly the BBC. The producers of Outnumbered found out, and Bear was dropped. He was literally high and dry.

Bear did not follow that path though.

"I was very upset with the man at the BBC. He didn't even tell me face to face. I just got a letter. "

The letter simply read:

Dear Bear,
You are fired.
Sorry.
Love
Man at the BBC

"I'm not very proud of this. I should've gotten some help, but I did turn to the Whiskey. It became my best friend."
Luckily, Bear had another two.

"Pengy Wengy, my friend out of my book, is a doctor. He sat me down and told me some very horrible things. Then he said those things weren't horrible because he was being horrible to me. My other friend from the book, Baby Bear, also said some bad things. Really, really naughty. But he was only doing it to help."

It took a few long months of intensive care, but Bear came through the other end.
"I was so happy they told me all of the bad things. I can't repeat what they were. The words are so rude it is not right for a Bear of my stature to say. At the start of that few long months, I was lying in a gutter, repeatedly pushing my paw in my belly button shouting about cheese. At the end, I was sitting up straight, able to look straight ahead."
So much so, his medical compadre was able to hand him a life line. He'd just helped out the new Director of Programming at Channel Five. Given an opportunity for payback, he thought he would chance it and allow Bear a way back.

Thankfully, he obliged, allowing Bear to appear in a great new series where couples tried out the holiday homes (or caravans) of others. They would then rate them. A bit like Come Dine With Me for caravans. Or Come Dine with me for couples ... etc... etc...
Bear appears in episode four, as pictured.

"The man at the channel was really nice to me. He said to just be myself and enjoy it. I certainly did. As you can see, I am totally different. I do not have my bottom in the air, and I am sat up, loud and proud. My eyes are wide open and I'm completely conscious."
A corner was turned, and Bear was back on the way up.

You can read more about Bear's escapades during the early days of computing in My ZX Spectrum (and other stories). It is available on the Amazon store and via the lending library, as are my other efforts to date.